I’m a Senior
May 24, 2012
Since the seniors have recently left for their work projects, I’ve become increasingly aware that next year, I will be a senior. I don’t quite believe it, but I know it’s true. I’ve heard other juniors commenting on the strangeness of it all, and I agree: it’s weird to be the big kids on campus.
There are other people who say: “It feels like I was a freshman just yesterday…” while gazing nostalgically into the distance. It is these weirdos that I do not understand. For all I know, I could’ve been born here, because I feel like the three years I’ve spent at Friends have lasted so long that there can’t have been anything before them. I’ve enjoyed my time here, and I look forward to my final year, but it has been a long three years.
I was new freshman year, so I went to Smart Start. Ms. Berkeley had us write letters to ourselves, which would be mailed to us at the end of freshman year. She said it would be nice for us to see how much we had changed. That’s something everyone tells you before you go to high school: you will change. And part of you believes them, because they’re older and know better, but part of you doesn’t think it applies to you, because you don’t understand how you could change.
But just like how you grow taller, you only realize it when you outgrow your clothes. You change a lot in ninth grade. I only realized it when I was sent a letter in June, written in my own hand, detailing my concerns as a rising freshman. Boy, had I changed; even my handwriting was different! The girl who wrote that letter to me is a complete stranger now, some faint memory. Now that I’m almost a senior, I hardly remember her at all.
I sort of wish I had written a letter to myself at the beginning of each new school year, just to track my changes, like when my parents used to mark my height on the bathroom wall every birthday to see how much I grew. And changing in high school is just as unavoidable as growing taller as a little kid. It’s just the way things go, and it’s an amazing, beautiful thing.
One thing that doesn’t change is who you truly are. Inside, your core- though you change your opinions, clothes, and friends- will stay the same. Because even though that little freshman version of you is so small and hard to remember, they’re still there, waving and smiling from the past, seeing you off as you continue on your journey to grow into the person you will someday be.