Have a question you’d like to see answered in next month’s column? Please submit it here.
Question: How do I join The Quaker Quill?
Answer: To join the Quaker Quill, all you need to do is come by to one of our meetings, either on a community day or during Day 4 Lunches. If none of those times work for you, feel free to stop by Ms. Wiltenburg’s room, FB 246, or come talk to one of the head editors. Any of us can walk you through a new project or assignment to do for the Quill.
Q: I’m having trouble starting my common app essay. I feel like I’ve struggled a lot in my life, bullying and divorced parents, but those aren’t experiences that are unique. Help please!!
A: It’s very difficult to start your college essay. You feel like you have hundreds of things to write about, and at the same time, nothing. It’s easy to go on TikTok and watch videos about the most overdone college essay topics, or hear a relative tell you that none of your topics are interesting enough. Most college admissions officers read thousands and thousands of essays every year. There’s hardly anything you could write that isn’t similar to something they have read before. So they aren’t looking for uniqueness. The key is to make it true to yourself. When you write about your own meaningful experience, your personality will shine through, and that in itself is unique.
Q: I just lost my dog!
A: I’m sorry to hear that. Losing pets is hard; they can be so special to us. Let yourself feel sad, and don’t forget that your friends and family are here for you.
Q: I’m a freshman and I’m having a hard time adjusting and making friends. What do I do?
A: Freshman year can be intimidating and filled with a lot of pressure. Remember that good things come with time. It’s not always easy to make close connections in the first month. A great way to make friends is through extracurricular activities: sports, clubs, joining the school play. All of these things can lead to friendships with people in your grade, or even outside of it. Eighth to 9th grade is a big jump; give yourself time to figure out your routine. This is only the first year of high school. You have time to make friends and find your pace.
Q: My friend and I both like the same person. How should I approach a conversation with them?
A: Since they are your friend, approach this conversation from a place of honesty and respect. Discuss both of your feelings and try to come to a decision that you both feel comfortable with. It can feel awkward to talk about these kinds of things, but it will likely strengthen your friendship if you are honest about how you feel.
There are two possible outcomes here: either one of you gets the person, or neither of you does. Discuss with your friend how they feel about each option. Did one of you like them first? If so, can you agree that that person can make the move first? If the crush likes one of you but not the other, can you support that person? Or, if you don’t know the crush’s feelings about the both of you, can you both agree not to go for them?
No matter what happens, there are so many people out there for both of you, so don’t get too stressed out over this person. And don’t let them get in the way of your friendship.
Q: How do you look after yourself when you face adversities?
A: Invent an affirmation or a mantra to replace negative thoughts. It may feel silly at first, because what you’re saying to yourself isn’t how you feel at all. But creating the pattern can help change your thinking. We can’t always change adversity, but we can change our mindsets.
Q: Mr. Paulson is such a hard grader. How can I get a better grade in his class with the least amount of effort possible?
A: According to an anonymous source, “Prepare for the vocab quizzes and do the work. Precise is nice, specific is terrific.” As both former and current students of Mr. Paulson, we agree.
Q: Is it unhealthy to get back together with an ex?
A: It can be tempting to get back together with an ex, because, let’s face it, relationships can be fun. But this is a decision that should be thought through carefully. It can help to reflect on the following questions: Why did you get together? Why did you break up? Are you friends with them post-breakup? Why do you want to get back together?
If your ex has intentionally hurt you in the past, or if you’re simply yearning to be in a relationship again, getting back together is probably not the right decision. However, if you broke up for other reasons, think about giving it a second try. All relationships have rough patches, and sometimes persevering creates the strongest connections. Make sure that you are both committed to creating a healthy relationship; people can change, but not always. Above all, think carefully and trust your gut.
Q: how do i friend zone someone but make sure we keep the friendship?
A: Unfortunately, you have no control over whether you can keep the friendship with this person. They get to decide if they still want to be friends. That said, here are a few gentle ways of friend-zoning, in order of effectiveness:
- Don’t lead them on. Treat them just how you would another friend. Try to hang out with them in groups more than 1-on-1.
- Set boundaries. Tell them if something they do or say makes you uncomfortable, or if you don’t want to do certain things with them. You don’t owe them anything just because they like you.
- If they still aren’t getting the hint, try defining the relationship as a friendship when you talk to them. Saying something like, “I’m so glad we’re friends” or “I appreciate our friendship” will help confirm boundaries.
Q: I think this guy is cute but I don’t know how to start a conversation with him. We have no classes together or friends in common. What should I do?
A: Even if you have very few things in common, there are other ways to get his attention. If you follow him on Instagram you can interact with him more. Maybe occasionally respond to his stories and ask questions to get a conversation started. It can feel hard to do, but if this is a person that you usually have no contact with, there’s nothing to lose. If he isn’t very active on social media you can always reach out in person. Complimenting him in the halls is a good first step to start talking to him. If you have classes with his friends you can try to connect with them as a way to start talking to him. Don’t be afraid to be bold.
Q: Do I lock in and let it go or do I tweak out and beef about it?
A: Assuming that you’re talking about a disagreement you’ve had with someone recently, you don’t necessarily have to do either. Getting into a disagreement doesn’t have to lead to an argument; no beefing or tweaking has to ensue. This does not mean, however, that you should ignore how you are feeling in an attempt to avoid conflict. Instead, you can discuss with whomever you may be beefing with and explain how you feel about the situation. It’s important to listen to what the other person is saying. If you can’t reach an agreement, maybe put the conversation on pause until you are both ready to talk more.
Q: What the heck is going on in Springfield, Ohio???
A: Haitian immigrants are not eating pets in Springfield, Ohio, despite claims made by Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and his running mate J.D. Vance. We encourage you to learn more about the spread and effect of this misinformation through resources such as The Wall Street Journal or The New York Times, both of which you can access through your school account with the Digital Library.
