Humor: Traffic Jams, Accidents, and Hanger

The daily turmoil of the Friends Dining Hall line


Photo by Robin Pierre on Unsplash

If only the Friends Dining Hall traffic moved this fast, and accident-free!

Thomas Hazlehurst, Staff Writer

Since the beginning of the year, the line heading into the Dining Hall has grown longer and more dangerous.

With the lives and property of Friends School increasingly under threat, the Quaker Quill decided to investigate this pressing issue. These are our shocking findings:

Beginning at the weight room entrance, the Dining Hall line leaves people waiting for their food for as long as two hours. The wait has left many in the line quick to anger. Witness the shouts and screams echoing up and down the stairwell.

The combination of student apathy and the length of the line has led to accidents all across the Dining Hall. Recently, after standing in line for around an hour, junior Sam Gerardi was forced off the line by two hotheaded students. He swiftly crashed into a nearby table.

Though no one was hurt in the accident, such scenes of destruction are quite common in The Line.

While these accidents are prevalent in the Dining Hall, the problems with student traffic congestion extend to the rest of school as well. Though Friends recently approved a decision to widen school hallways to allow more students and teachers to pass through with ease, the Quill estimates that it still takes around 74 minutes to get from one Upper School class to another.

But all hope is not lost! The school has recently created the Friends Student Walking Association (FSWA),  dedicated to teaching students how to walk in the hallways.

“As a person who has recently gotten into a walking accident, I hope my students can come out of my class doing the right thing from day one,” said Robert Travieso, sporting a gash above one eyebrow.

Though change is slowly making its way to the hallways of Friends, nobody knows when the chaos will end. Only time will tell whether the efforts of people like Mr. Travieso succeed, or if more of us will end up like Sam Gerardi.