SPICE Advice: March Mayhem

    Advice columnists give their best takes on this month’s dilemmas, submitted anonymously by Friends School students.
    SPICE Advice: March Mayhem

    Have a question (or confession) you’d like to see answered next month? Submit it here.

    Q: I really want to be in a relationship – like, I would be perfect for one – but idk how and I can’t find anybody who seems interesting. What do I do?

    A: If the issue is that you can’t find someone you would like to be in a relationship with, start getting to know more people. Put yourself out there, and maybe in doing so, you will find someone who is interesting to you. But you can’t force attraction to someone. You should want to be in a relationship because you really like someone and want to spend time with them, not because you want the label itself. That’s not fair to the other person. Focus on making genuine connections with people, instead of searching for a relationship, and a connection will form naturally.  

    Q: I got diagnosed with tuberculosis and my father figure and my “friend” constantly make fun of me for it. 

    A: Tell them that you are uncomfortable with their jokes and that you would appreciate their support. If they don’t listen, don’t take their jokes personally. Tuberculosis is not your fault.

    Q: I have come to the realization that I have spent 4,000 hours of my life on Hypixel SkyBlock. How do I change?

    A: There’s no easy way out of this. It will require a lot of mental strength. For starters, you might consider getting rid of your computer. You have a Chromebook for school, so it’s not like you need your computer for work. You could ask your family to help you with your efforts to change. Try to find something else to fill your time with instead of video games. Learn an instrument, read a book, go on walks outside, go to the gym. There are so many options. The most important thing is that you are doing something beneficial for yourself. Even if it’s hard at first, you will eventually find something that you enjoy, and in doing so you will better yourself. Good luck; you got this!

    Q: I just got into a relationship and I’m worried I’m leading them on. If I break it off, it will be awkward. What do I do? 

    A: Being in a relationship with someone is definitely leading this person to believe that you like them. I am guessing that you don’t want to be in a relationship with this person after all? Ending any relationship is hard and awkward because you are rejecting someone. But it doesn’t sound like your feelings towards this person match theirs, so at some point you just have to rip off the bandaid and break up with them. I would suggest doing it in person and as soon as possible. Even though that seems more awkward, it is kinder, because no one wants to be broken up with over text. Honesty is the best policy, so telling them why you honestly want to break up with them in as nice words as possible is the best way to do it. Yes, it may be uncomfortable in the moment, but it will make you much happier in the long run to be free of this person.

    Q: The guy next to me in my study hall is really offputting. He always needs an extra calculator and constantly asks me questions. He also brings Funyuns in and I really hate Funyuns. They gross me out. He always dotes on his brothers and talks about them all the time, which is nice, but I really need to work sometimes. What do I do? 

    A: Is there any way you could not sit next to him? Study halls usually don’t have assigned seats. If that isn’t an option, just tell him that you would love to talk to him later, but you really need to work on this homework assignment right now. (Then do or don’t talk to him later as you wish.) You can’t really control the Funyuns or the extra calculator, but if you have headphones, that could block out the sound. You could also pretend you can’t hear him speak to you because you are listening to music. If he is talking to other people loudly, your attempts to get him to stop don’t work, and headphones don’t help, you may have to talk to the adult in the study hall about it. 

    Q: There is this person sitting next to me who is addicted to BitLife. I don’t know what she gains from it. I think that her life is so boring that she needs to make up multiple artificial lives to satisfy her soul. I am starting to worry for her because her addiction keeps on worsening day by day. I fear that in the next few weeks she will be totally disconnected from actual human life. Do you have any advice for me to guide her back on the path to real humanity? 

    A: Start by getting her permission to delete the app. Then maybe you can hang out with her and have designated no-phone time. Or, as in puppy training, you could get a spray bottle, fill it with water, and every time you see her on BitLife, give her a spray. 

    Q: I am a freshman. A senior has a crush on me. Help, what do I do? 

    A: Uh oh. Any chance it is our letter writer from last month’s column? Well, if their attention is unwanted, first you can try to distance yourself from the senior and tell them you don’t like them back. They should take the hint. If you feel that they are being predatory or you don’t feel comfortable around them, please talk to a trusted adult.

    Q: How many pictures of the same character can you have saved on your phone before it becomes weird? For example, 65 pictures.

    A: Unfortunately, I think the fact that you asked that question already makes it weird. But if you are worried about someone looking through your photos app and judging you, I would say under 50 is probably normal. (For what it’s worth, I have 0.)

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